I’m sure there once was a time when you could not get enough of your significant other. I mean, that’s why you started dating them in the first place right? There was something that drew you together. Over time things change, I’m sure you still love your significant other but the butterflies are no longer there, where did they go? Somewhere along the way you both were at a stage that you just became happy with, you were comfortable there. Maybe now, you’re too comfortable? Being too comfortable can become a little boring, same routine day in and day out. You do the same things, you go to the same places, and you may even say the same things to each other day after day. No wonder the thrill is gone!
There’s good news and bad news. The good news is that you can get the spark back! The bad news is you and your significant other will have to do some work to get there. But if you knew much about relationships, you would know that every relationship takes some work.
Here are some signs that your relationship has gotten a little, ahem, boring:
- You stop taking care of your appearance. (Come on ladies, we’ve probably all been guilty of this at one time or another. You used to make yourself gorgeous for your man, even if you were just hanging out at his place watching a movie. Now, you go there in sweats with no make-up and your hair pulled back. You know what I’m talking about!)
- You don’t care to listen to them or you find yourself tuning them out. (“I think that shirt was still on sale…” “It’s decided, I am going to go get that new handbag after work tomorrow.” – While the whole time, he is trying to explain to you that his day at work was not so great and he would just like to relax with YOU.)
- You no longer initiate romance. (Romance, shmomance… what even IS romance?)
- You no longer feel it is worth it to do unexpected, nice things for your significant other. (He doesn’t do it for you, so why should you do it for him? Maybe he stopped because YOU did.)
These are the most common ones that I can think of and I’m sure you can think of more that are unique to your dying relationship. If you want to feel those butterflies every time you see him or you want to get shivers whenever he kisses your neck, the both of you have to make a choice and actually want to do the work to get back to that place.
A great place to start, is to remember why you fell in love in the first place. What common goal do you have that creates a strong bond between you? Here are some simple suggestions to help you get the flame burning bright again:
- Hold hands, snuggle. Have some kind of physical touch and affection towards each other that doesn't involve sex. (That can come later…)
- Actually listen. (Without letting your mind wonder.)
- Do nice things without expecting ANYTHING in return. (Even if you don’t get a thank-you. Just because you didn’t get a thank-you doesn’t mean that your significant other is not appreciative, some don’t voice those things as much as others.)
The main thing to remember is that you both have to take responsibility and initiative and it also takes time, it doesn't happen overnight and you won't magically be all better. But, by thinking of your significant other first before yourself, you’ll show them just how much you really care. If you miss the intense passion you once had as a couple then do something about it instead of moping around! Have a conversation with your significant other; they may not even know that you have been feeling this way!
Good luck :)
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